Christmas Stress: Your guide to enjoying the silly season without it

Christmas is a time of joy and togetherness, of love and understanding… or is it?

For many of us, Christmas brings a lot of stress – we can get caught up in gift buying, food preparation, family drama, endless social events, meeting work deadlines, and more.  It can bring up a lot of negative or mixed emotions for us too.

So, this is a guide to help you find more enjoyment before, during, and after the Christmas period.

The lead up to Christmas

With Christmas decorations hitting the shelves on the 1^st October, it becomes a little hard to ignore that Christmas day is merely weeks away and even if you aren’t consciously aware of it, at an unconscious level, that low line of stress may already be starting.

A theme that has been popping up for me and some of my clients recently is simplicity.  We can tend to make things bigger and more complicated than they need to be.  There’s a lot to be said for living a simpler life.

Here are some ways you can avoid the stress in the lead up to Christmas:

Gift Shopping

Make a list and check it twice!  Having a list of the people you plan to buy Christmas gifts for and a budget for each of them is a great place to start.  If you can pick one or two a week to focus on and purchase a gift for, it will take away the overwhelm and may even make it feel like less of a financial burden too.  If you start earlier in the year, you can take advantage of sales, higher stock levels, and have zero time pressure too!  Shopping online may also work for you – that way you avoid the crowds, can find the right item and maybe even get a better deal than you would otherwise. There’s lots of hype around online Black Friday sales, and they’re not even on Fridays!

Financial Stress

As mentioned above, spreading your shopping out over the year can help relieve the financial burden of Christmas but remember that a gift doesn’t have to be something you buy!

Regifting a book that you love, spending quality time with someone, making something, propagating a plant, or giving a voucher for babysitting to your friend with young children will all be appreciated by the recipient and have little to no cost.  We all have skills that can be used as gifts – if you don’t believe me, type “gifts that don’t cost anything” into google – there are some incredible ideas out there.

Getting into debt for Christmas will only cause you long term stress and I’m sure none of your loved ones would want you to suffer in the name of giving them a gift.

If money is a bigger issue, I highly recommend talking to a financial counsellor which you may be able to access for free here.

Christmas Food

Movies and traditions often have us thinking we need a spread big enough to feed an army.  That can bring a lot of stress if you are the host and expected to organise, shop, prepare, and cook everything yourself.  Then you’ve got to eat all that food over the following days so it doesn’t go to waste! Then you run the chance of increasing your waistline causing more stress!

Instead of stressing yourself out with it all, why not talk to your loved ones about keeping it simple this year?  You could book a Christmas lunch out at the local restaurant or pub or maybe you keep it simple with a selection of finger foods that just need to be thrown on a platter or assign each of your guests something to bring to take the pressure off you.

No matter what you choose to do, you’ll enjoy it more if it’s stress free!

Family Drama

If you have family members that can’t be in the same room together without starting World War III then Christmas Day is unlikely to be any different.  That can be stressful for the rest of the family who just want a nice family Christmas.

Perhaps you can organise to separate those family members into different events – lunch with one of them and dinner with the other or Christmas Eve with one and Christmas Day with the other.

Alternatively, if having them all together is unavoidable then talking to each of the family members prior to the day to express how it makes you feel when they fight with each other could have an impact on their behaviour on the day.  Remember to talk about your feelings and not their behaviour so you aren’t pointing fingers which will often not be well received.

Alcohol can fuel such drama so perhaps limiting it could help keep things civil.

Planning some group activities can also keep your family busy and less likely to argue – a backyard cricket game, a Christmas movie, board games, or other activities may be just what you need to keep energy focused away from arguments.

Social Isolation

Those without families to spend Christmas with can find the holiday season very isolating.  They don’t want to be alone and don’t want to intrude on a friend’s Christmas festivities so they may be inclined to stay home alone.  If this sounds like you, I’m here to tell you that you don’t have to be alone!

A little bit of forward planning will open a load of opportunities for you.  Here are a few ideas that may appeal to you:

• Find another friend who is in the same boat and make plans with them. I call it the ‘Orphans Christmas’ and you’re sure to have a good time.
• Organise to volunteer on Christmas Day – it may be at a soup kitchen or a local community organisation. I’ve done this before with my grandson and we both agreed it was the best Christmas ever.
• Organise yourself to have zoom calls with friends and family that are overseas or interstate.
• Book for a Christmas long table lunch at a local pub or restaurant and meet some new people.
• If friends invite you to their Christmas celebrations, try saying yes for a change – you will allow your friend the opportunity to include you which may mean a lot to them, and they wouldn’t have invited you if they didn’t want you there!

This year I made a little flyer and put it into the letterboxes of those people in my neighbourhood that I know, inviting them to ‘meet the neighbours’ in the park at the end of the street from 3pm onwards a week before Christmas.  They need to bring a plate to share and invite another neighbour

If you have a big family gathering planned, don’t assume everyone else has plans and consider inviting a friend who may feel alone at Christmas.

Work Deadlines

Employers may put pressure on you to cram as much work in as possible before the Christmas break starts or maybe you work in retail where things become a little hectic.

If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed with your workload, it’s important to communicate that to your leadership team.  They can’t help you if they aren’t aware of it and they may not realise they are pressuring you.

Ensure you are taking regular breaks and looking after yourself during this time.

Self Talk

When we experience stress, our inner thoughts can often become quite negative and roll around in our head in an attempt to control the situation.  Thinking of all the things we have to do and all the possible outcomes can keep you up at night and exacerbate the stress.  The more you focus on it, the worse it gets.

The key is to learn to let go of the things we can’t control and focus on the things we can control.  Often it can seem bigger in our heads than it actually is.  Creating a list of bite-sized tasks and prioritising them may help – start with an overall list then select the 2 or 3 top priorities each day and only focus on getting those done before moving on with the list.  That way you won’t get overwhelmed and making the progress will help you to feel good about yourself.

Look after yourself

Stress that continues for more than two weeks, can have severe detrimental effects on your health.  Ensuring you make looking after yourself a priority can have some profound impacts on how stressful Christmas will be for you.

In case you need a reminder, here’s what constitutes looking after yourself:

• Drink plenty of water
• Eat regular, nutritious meals
• Avoid CATS (Caffeine, Alcohol, Tobacco, and Sweeteners)
• Get quality sleep
• Practice brain relaxation

On the Day

Christmas Day can be a whirlwind of activity that ends with you collapsed in a heap wondering where the day went. It can also have you being thankful it’s over for another year.

We’ve all grown up with the idea that Christmas is a joyful time full of good cheer and connection so what if that’s what you focused on creating instead of stressing yourself out by ticking all the tradition boxes?

Here are a few ideas that might help you create a stress free Christmas Day:

• Stop regularly throughout the day and find things to be grateful for
• Take the time to sit with a young child and play a game or build some lego
• Have a meaningful conversation with a friend or loved one
• Set aside time to meditate, go for a walk, get out in the garden etc
• Delegate tasks – everyone likes to be helpful so let them help
• Have fun